Quitters never win and Winners never quit

I had a hard time trying to think of the right title for today's blog. I considered using "winning isn't everything" or "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself"...

WHY?

Well this past weekend I reclaimed the fire and enthusiasm that I had lost for taekwondo. Three years ago I was sparring at the CTF National Championships. I was in the adult female green and blue belt division and was sparring for the third place medal. In the middle of the match I landed badly on my left foot and my ankle collapsed. In much pain, but with too much dignity to quit, I finished out the match (karate kid style) only I didn't win.. I lost. A week later I was in a boot cast with torn ligaments in my left ankle. I had vowed I would not spar again in competion.

What caused me to decide that? Fear of losing? Fear of getting hurt? Hmmm I think a little of both. This past weekend, for the first time since then, I sparred in competition. Did I win? Nope. I actually came in fourth (again). Did it hurt? Hell no! I was so elated that I faced my fears. In the first round I was paired up with the same competitor who I got hurt against three years ago (talk about coincidence). She beat me, but I scored three points on her and actually made a match of it. (the girl went on to win the division).

I didn't win, I didn't even place, but I had so much fun! I proved to myself that I could do it. I was able to see that I had indeed improved in my sparring skills (despite my constant personal struggles in thinking that my sparring skills were very sub-par). If I could make a match of it with the competitor who went on to win the division, I can't be that bad right?

The next sermon series at church is going to be entitled GET IN THE GAME. Last weekend I got myself in the game, and it was great. I only have one more tournament that I can compete in before I move, so I am looking forward to ending my taekwondo experience in Memphis with a bang, now that I finally allowed myself to get back in the game. I forced myself to get rid of the quitter mentality and I feel like I truly came out a winner.

Now if only I can "get back in the game" of finishing my dissertation....

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my dad's 60th birthday! woohoo! Just thought I would give him a public shout out for that.

Apparently Joel's post was not referring to something I wrote, but rather to something Neil wrote. My bad. I don't know why I always get so fired up when Joel writes crap like that anyway. I guess maybe because I just view him differently than most people due to our past history. Despite all the spreading of differing opinions on the list it gave me the opportunity to reconnect with Tom...

Spoke to Tom last night, it's nice to chit chat with people who can sympathize with what you are going through at any point in time. For me it is the transition from tryinig to finish the awful dissertation stage of the Ph.D. I dont think anyone who hasn't done a dissertation can TRULY appreciate all the BS it involves.

In between editing drafts and reading articles, I have been memorizing pattern meanings for my Taekwondo promotional test that is tomorrow. I have also gotten into Harry Potter. I know I am a bit behind... my first desire was to read the book AFTER the movie so that the movies wouldnt be a dissappointment.... but I decided to go buy the books (at least 1-5)... I am about 50 pages into book 4 now and am surprised to find how much I am really enjoying them.

April was writing about working out in the gym... damn I was going to go do that too wasn't I? Didn't I mention that in my first blog? Darn! still not there. Mental note: still want to get my butt in the gym.

Not much else to report on these days. Hoping that everything falls into place in the next few weeks with my attempts to find an apartment out west, to get my dissertation defended successfully, and all that jazz....

Ok time for lunch, I think I will go make myself a PB and J.

Out of site, out of mind?

September 11, 2005. Four years after the terrible WTC tragedy. I think a good number of people in this country have started to forget. We need to see those awful pictures from time to time so that we can remember, so that we know what we are fighting for in this world. "out of sight, out of mind?" I certainly hope not. In the midst of remembering those who suffered and those who we lost in that day, we deal with another national tragedy in the aftermath of hurricaine Katrina. Living in Memphis I have seen and tried to help with the aid efforts as we house 10,000+ evacuees. My roomate will be going on a relief effort to Mississippi later this month. It is so heartwarming to see when there is truly a need, people do answer the call.

I have been conversing with some friends from college regarding the response by local/state/federal agencies to the LA and MS areas hit hardest by the storm. As an aside, I get the impression that a good number of my friends are liberal-minded, a party comes to mind where I read that they played darts on a dartboard that had our President's face on it (not cool ,in my opinion).... but then everyone is entitled to their opinion. Upon sending an email to the group about "facts vs media" talking about some media half truths and trouble with corrupt Louisiana politics - simply offering a different viewpoint, I was slammed. I have now had Joel compare me to someone who yells FIRE in a crowded room... when people say something like that it just makes my blood boil. I don't mind being shown that something I sent out was incorrect, but I do mind someone telling me I can't send it out... like I purposefully meant to harm my friends? PUH-LEASE!!!

I actually got to spend a week and a half in NY recently. It was nice to spend some time with friends and family. I got to see the four people from college who have shown qualities of true friendship to me over the years, the ones who actually care enough to communicate with me from afar and get together with me during my brief visits to the empire state (Dan, Lynne, Lori, and Rob). It is so hard year after year to try and get in touch with people when they obviously don't care. "Out of site, out of mind" is such a true phrase.